Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Has your wife made you a cuckold?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What do you typically do while on meth?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

This Common Herb May Hold the Key to Fighting Alzheimer’s, According to a New Study - Food & Wine

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have a reading level above third grade

I can read

What is the best sex you have ever had (in detail)?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t buy bullshit

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Why did the American's mulberry harbor not hold up after D-Day?

I see through liars

I actually pay taxes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I see ugly guys dating gorgeous, "hot" women all the time. I, too, am not very attractive but I'm not doing well with the ladies. What's their secret?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Who are the IT boys of the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th generation in K-pop?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Is TikTok a creation of the porn industry? To make porn more normalized and accepted? So the porn industry doesn’t lose customers?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What should I do to get over a relationship?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Why is the Middle East prone to terrorism?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t cotton to rapists

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I can count

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know who the president of Turkey really is